on glue

know when to hold it together

and when to let it go

if i could go back and FORCE MYSELF TO UNDERSTAND

the difference between these two things

well, i would have saved myself a lot of pain and time

sometimes we are in a job, relationship, or even a city, for years after they have held us back from growing

because we get stuck in their familiarity

after all without them, aren't we just spinning around?

but the same things that held us to comfort

also can bind us to stagnation and pain

my father was in a relationship with my mom that he couldn't stay in any longer

so after years of running around the track by himself after work

he came home one day and broke it off

i was in a relationship that I wasn't supposed to be in

and i couldn't let go of it

because it was the best love anyone had ever given, it was the most i ever had loved

but the circumstances weren't right

so i broke it even if by accident

and am now alone like i deserve to be frankly

i was in a city, new york city, for years after my friends left, and I should have taken a break, but i didn't. i still showed up in the same dark places for long after

yet too

how many projects did we give up on that years later we ask what could have been?

how many people or relationships did we give up on that years later we wonder if we wish we didn't still have?

it's hard to recognize the difference sometimes

in the fog

that we imagine

but it's only

in our minds

the truth is, i believe

we always know the difference

we just don't always have the strength to make the choice